Sigh

I didnt sleep last night. I have discovered the hard way that having a fan on at night activates something in my brain pathways that sparks incessant thought and a complete inability to wind down and sleep. I spent the night in the dark with the whirr facing away from me toward the bed D. sleeps on (because he can't sleep without a fan in this heat, and for me, the feeling of breeze on my skin as I sleep is like being tickled remorselessly). The breezeless whirr is better than both a breeze and a whirr, but still, my cerebral pathways were steaming with thought- I planned brilliant lessons for hypothetical future jobs, composed music that I could never translate into reality, decorated future hypothetical flats and mourned the loss of past homes, methodically thought out step by step possible recipes,  and resolved long standing arguments with people far away who will never know I even remembered these arguments.  I am not sure when or if I slept at all.  I am wearing makeup today, a sure sign that I am either underslept or ill.  Now, after two coffees and a little internet time to kill before D.'s job interview on the phone, my jaw exploded with a sudden electrical surge and has been throbbing for the past half hour. It hasn't been so bad in over a month. I hate my jaw. I need a new one. I am very tired.